I was pleasantly surprised in your quick response to my letter! I have kept it on my person for the past week and it really gave me hope!
The vulnerability about your own struggles were truly a big relief.
Firstly I was afraid I had written it wrong, or been too open… But you see.
I have been feeling like the only one going through this in the entire world.
I feel so alone…
Christians now days are so withholding(they don’t present reality)! I walk into church in my everyday clothes and feel out of place. I pull out my 3 year old Bible and it looks like a relic. I struggle to smile and feel like I’m missing out on the joyful part of the Christian life- as I look at the faces of the other members around me…
How can everyone else around me have it all together?
In my struggles, I decided to create my own tradition- When I can’t think of more than 3 positive things in my week- I sit down in the corner and listen to the bombardment of resoundingly happy and positive chatter around me… Not only has this become a weekly thing, but I also find that instead of feeling happy for them or in any way boosted… I just sit there and ask myself- How did I get it all wrong? I feel so useless; left out.
Your view on prayer was insightful and made a lot of sense, But friend if you could continue to pray for me though- I still totally need it.
I feel like there is nothing in this world so overwhelming and scary as vulnerability. But when done successfully- It can provide a world of relief and make us feel human again.