January has started again… And like most people, if not all, I have a few new years resolutions that I am trying to keep. And I have failed all of them already> So here’s to being human..
Consistent. My first resolution is to be more consistent. Everyone has a sense of consistency. Whether its consistently late, or consistently hungry.. But my resolution goes a little beyond that. I recently bought a book by David Bowden called “Rewire your heart”. And the base idea that I have received so far is that we as human- have longings or affections for things that benefit us, or make us feel good, or help us get further. But we can also have affections based on lies that we are being given.. Every decision we make is passed through a little machine that has affections, emotions, and logic as it’s main values. And affections always win. If you have an affection for good feeling.. Than porn can be a hard thing to get out of- Because it promises exactly that… And when its all over and your feeling guilty and gross you tell yourself you’ll never do it again.. And than you get a deep longing for a good feeling, and you remember that promise that porn gives.. And it doesn’t seem to matter about the logic. You were fooled before and its going to happen again. It doesn’t seem to matter how God views it, your family views it.. You are stuck and being controlled by your affections. I have affections to get to work within the 16 minutes I know it takes… And when I get stuck behind a slow car, or truck… You know how it goes. Your heart starts to beat faster, and you feel a little bit of rage coming on.. Self control might help you appear cool, you might not sit there with your hand on the horn till they either speed up or pull over.. But you have already been sucked in by your affections into something sinful. So my goal this year is to look at my affections, my deep desires. And than work through them with God prayerfully and searching His word. And as I work through my affections, my hope and desire is that I will become a more consistent Christian.
Full. My second resolution is to be full. If you have a full stomach, it means that you have put something into it… If you had a full day, it means the whole thing… Well similarly- I want this entire year to be full. Full of Growth. Full of Learning. Full of Friendship. Full of God. I want to be active, and actively seeking more. When I arrived home after my year in Canada, my first reaction was to just sit around like I would have done before I had gone over there… And it didn’t take long before I felt sluggish and lazy. I want to utilize this year like it’s one of my last. I want to pursue more and come out this year knowing that I did my best, I learned all I could, I have inputted into all I can- and in the same taken from whoever’s willing to give. And that my relationship with God has been improved.
WELL.. That’s 2 of them, and I’ll have another 2 in a week. But before I sign off.. This evening I was sitting in my room going through my discovery playlist on Spotify. Every week it gives me 30 new songs that I might not have heard before, but are similar to songs that I like or have listened to before. As I listened there was a beautiful piano piece that came on, and I decided to look at my phone to see the label… “Dear God- piano” I find myself often going through a day forgetting God.. I might get to lunch and than start apologizing to Him because I hadn’t included him in any part of what I was doing throughout the morning- Than similarly at dinner, because I hadn’t interacted with Him since lunch on the same day… I was reminded again tonight that we each have a skill, a talent, things we do… And we can do all of them honoring God. This is a blog I would like to keep inputting into. Its new, and I might get writers block or run out of ideas… But my intentions with this blog are not to have the most readers, or to have someone giving me positive or negative feedback on my writing skills. – My entire intention with this blog is to share a few ideas that could potentially get someone thinking, or encourage them. Thanks for reading!