New years resolutions- Blog 2

Last blog I mentioned 2 of my new resolutions 1.) Full 2.) Consistent I was planning on adding 2 to this one as well, but after writing out the first part I deemed it appropriate to hold off and leave it till next week where I hope to have my last 2.

Resolve- Open. I must have been the most frightened I’ve ever been in my life… Being driven by a stranger further and further out of civilization and into no mans land. And then came the end of the road- A place with about 70 people all…. Sad. I had arrived at the end of the Canadian summer, to a summer camp. And everyone was wearing their heart of their sleeves. Tears rolling, and massive hugs.. I hadn’t ever experienced or witnessed this much open emotion before. I was given hugs as I arrived.. People opening their heart towards me and allowing me to be a part of their lives for a short while. But holding nothing back from me. As Kiwi’s, we don’t have less emotion. We don’t have nerves of steel!! We are just as human as my Canadian friends… We just refuse to allow someone to help us. We put on a facade and pretend everything is alright… Because who wants to hear my problems right? Who has the time in their day, in this day and age, to stand by me as I let my heart out… Something that probably hasn’t happened for years now. How are you? How’s your week been? You doing alright? We have default answers to these questions and don’t even think twice about giving out a fake answer to them. How are you? Good, alright, great.. Really? We are so quick to dismiss our feelings in front of others, and then, when we are alone we are overwhelmed by them. Overtaken. We were not made to be islands and we hear that all the time… But nothing changes. And nothing changes.. So I have some resolutions- And maybe you could think about adding them to your own list, and share them with others in your circles.. I firstly resolve to get rid of default answers. I am not a machine. I am unique and my life is unique- So my answer should be to! I resolve to answer questions honestly. Secondly I resolve to only ask questions I expect to be answered. I say this, because since resolving to the first.. I have realized that sometimes we ask these questions uninterested in the answer, or without the time to actually listen. I resolve to add more time in my schedule and calendar to allow me to be available to hear others answers. And thirdly I resolve to ask questions that draw out a real answers. How are you- has a default answer that everyone knows well. But “How is your heart?” “How are you coping?” “What can I pray for, for you?” I feel passionate about this because I have had first hand experience at benefits of these resolves. I was in a conversation recently about suicide rates in New Zealand. And there could be a number of different reasons for such a tragic term… But I believe personally- That a lot of suicide results, from the feeling of being left out, or unknown. And none of us can know one another- if none of us are willing to be open.

After I had written all of this, I couldn’t help but feel I had been too blunt, or called out too many things at once. And if that is the case than I am sorry for hitting you around the head- I have ideas, and I have time enough to sit down and write them. But I don’t want to claim that they are all right. Maybe they are extreme. – But if there is any benefit found within all of it. Than please take that into your week, or into your year and apply it. One last little thing I wanted to say.. There is a beautiful story I love– It’s heartbreaking and the more I listen to it, the more sad it becomes and the more emotion I feel from it. But there is a small quote that I wanted to bring up The story is called “Correspondence a fiction”. By Levi the Poet- Quote “…idle hands build nothing that you can call your own”.  Another quote- Or at least the way I have viewed it for a while is this- We can always learn more information… But without application- Nothing ever changes. Nothing changes. So I would like to encourage you to think about all the good quotes you have memorized, all the passionate things you have been told, all the visions that have been cast toward you and really struck a chord. Now may you go and apply them- And encourage others to do the same. Thank you for reading!

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