Development…

When I got into Canada for Prosago.. The first few months I asked for input from the others on a very regular basis…
Guys- What do you think of me?
Guys- How can I improve in this?
You- Was that presentation as bad as I felt it was?
Guys- Is my face nice to look at?

If I felt there was a opportunity to ask a question I did!!… But it didn’t take long before questions stopped being answered,.. and the happy to help attitudes of the rest ceased…

I didn’t stop asking the questions however.. But I decide to aim them at the directors of the program instead- Hoping to get more answers.

I sat down with the director of the program and had a page full of questions for him to answer and I was ready to fire…- when he started talking…

Now, I don’t remember all the words that he shared- But I remember the thought that came from them!…

Here:
I had been asking lots of questions.. Which is good!

But then I had been giving quick witted excuses to why that’s apart of me, or why that happened or explaining their error in missing something…
I was saying something with my mouth- But not displaying it with my actions.
I was so totally convinced that I was amazing and open… That I was growing the most because I was willing to ask the hard questions- And I never realized that I was the most closed off- the most arrogant- the most in need of the growth that I was so convinced I was encountering… All because I was willing to do the first step in a 4 step process.
I did it again and again- Step 1.
Step 1.
Step 1.

But we get nowhere if we can’t follow through with the entire process! A guy who could only dig holes never planted any trees, and the guy who could only plant trees lost them all drying out in the sun…

You see.? We can’t grow if we can’t listen to the response. We can’t put it into action something that we don’t know. And it takes action to live it out..

Step 1. Asking the questions!
Step 2. Listening to the response- And this is probably the hardest. You can’t rebuttal the answer and you can’t disprove it!
Step 3. Start acting in response to the answers.
Step 4. Make the action a way of life and- Continue growing in that area.

I learned a huge lesson that day! And I’m honestly still struggling with it.

But that was the day that I realized that “it’s so easy to tell someone that you are something (skills, job, possessions…), that you believe something (I believe everyone has the right to be listened to! , guns should be outlawed..), that you have someone in your life (Christ)….
But just saying it doesn’t mean it’s true”.

Thanks for reading.

I must admit- I want to write! So badly!!!! So I created a so called “blog” and have been trying to achieve a regular post about thoughts that I have had, things that I have been learning…

And I think I’m succeeding- At least in terms of posting words up on a website…

But after talking with a friend about a week ago, I realized that I’m not exactly sure of a lot of things related to this so called “blog”.
You see.

I don’t understand my own writing technique! Some weeks I feel like I’m preaching, some sharing stories, and others just observing…

I don’t really know why I’m doing it. – I think I started with the thought of having a place to look back on, and a place to share random things…. But I came to this huge question… If I’m not really sure on who it’s for- Why am I’m writing it publicly?

And I don’t know the impact- If it’s helping someone, anyone..


I’m not quitting!… As the word goes. But I feel like I’m not doing anyone- including myself- favors if I am not aiming towards something, or aware of where things are at.

So I’m going to do some prospecting… For ideas more than gold.
And I’ll post in the mean time- similar to past things. If there’s a theme..

And do some soul searching- I enjoy writing! I love words and the way they can tell a story.
I’m just needing time to figure out what that is.

One thought to “Development…”

  1. But just saying it doesn’t mean it’s true” – this reminded me of Matt 7:21-23.. Thanks for sharing 🙂 We all want to be something until it’s actually time to saddle up and do the hard work to go through some construction on our character

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